Story of my life

She texts me

"How are you?"

Last night was tough

Ended in my tears in a corner

Pushing them all away

I've been in bed two hours, trying to find a reason to get up

Even a reason to keep going

Ignore her for an hour

Lay here too numb to cry

Finally get up and grab my phone

And of course the knife too

Dig the knife into my leg as I type

"Yeah all better, just had a bad day"

Wouldn't ever let her know

How much worse it is than she thinks

Would never let her know that she is the only one keeping me here

Imagining the look on her face when she's told

When she sees me in a coffin

That's all that's keeping me here

Seven marks

Seven bloody slashes and I think I can do it

Bandage up the wounds

Put the knife away

Turn on the Christmas music and dry my eyes

Dance around the house as I clean

The mask is perfect, no one will ever know

That the dance is a red herring

The smile a mask

These jeans hide the pain I feel

Behind my eyes