So sick

I've been contemplating a lot of things lately. 

I feel like every day it's something else. 

Real situations are taking place, 

I know my life is no fairytale. 

I have this problem,

And in this moment I can not solve it. 

I want to please everyone around me 

That I'm starting to feel exhausted. 

The fear of what you think of me eats at me every day,

Will they up and leave over a decision that I make? 

I'm a lover and a fighter. 

I'm thinking with my head and my heart,

Because I would rather work with them together,

Than try to keep them apart. 

We compromise in our lives, 

And mold ourselves to fit into our surroundings 

And society has brainwashed about 80% of the people around me.

I'm so sick of going back and forth, 

So sick of fighting with myself,

So sick of being judged by others

Over something I can't help.