God?

Always telling myself to get through

Because at the end it will all work out

After however many years of hell

After a lifetime of tears and pain

I will make it to somewhere happy

I will make it and I will have a father again

Something I have lacked my whole life

A father who will hold me and tell me

It's all going to be okay

A father who can see me take my first steps

And feels pride

A father to whom I will show my colorings

That he will hang upon his wall

I will spin in the living room

In my prom dress

And he will have tears in his eyes as he calls me his princess

And walks me to the door where she stands

Ready to take me out

I will have the father I always wanted

But never was here

He's waiting for me up there

He who made me, shall then support me

But does God accept the broken?

For that is what I am

Will I step upon heaven's veranda

Only to be told it's too late

Too late to save a shattered soul

Will I be left pounding on the gates of heaven?

Left to those selfsame demons who live in my mind

Forsaken by the hope which I've held

Abandoned by another father

Because I will never be good enough