’Til Death
The flesh that still binds me
is no longer his host
Sometimes I wonder
which of us is the ghost
His spirit is free
of the physical realm
In life I don't feel like
I'm still at the healm
Just out of reach
he lingers there
Sometimes it feels like
he plays with my hair
This big house used to
give me a fright
But now I look forward
to the creaking at night
If the noises I hear
are not caused by wind
I fall safely to sleep
knowing
it's
only him
Sometimes he gathers
up enough power
To remain visible
to me for an hour
I spend those precious
moments of time
Pretending to feel how
he used to be mine
He talks to me
when I really listen
But he stops when he sees
the tears start to glisten
It's usually always
the same message I hear
I need to forget him,
it's been a year
If I forget him
he says he'll be free
To move on to whatever
is next
without
me
I know it's selfish and
I know he knows
That I will be nothing
if he ever goes
When I break down
and cry in despair
I feel his fingers
run through my hair
I need him to be there
when I lose my mind
If not, I know I won't
come back next time
He's getting stronger
and he gave me a wish
Last night I was able
to again feel his kiss
I know he can't always
stay here with me
Sometimes I think I should
claim
death's
decree
Take my own life,
I don't need it any more
Just to be with him,
invite death to my door
When these thoughts come
crowding into my head
He always appears with
his face turning red
He burns with an anger
he never showed in life
It keeps growing hotter
til I drop the knife
He believes I should embrace
all that is left
Of a life that no longer
feels like a gift
I suppose I really should
release him from me
Let him move on and
leave me here empty
I know that when
I do let him go
My heart will bleed
and I won't
stop
the flow.