The Obstacle is The Way
When I think I am too busy to eat well, to talk to friends or to write on prose.com, my mind moves towards Marcus Aurelius, Emperor of the known world at his time of life.
He had great opportunity to satitate his desires and to feel profound purpose. Yet he told us to live life a different way: define yourself on how you respond to suffering.
Don’t define yourself on your successes (as much as schools train you to).
Don’t define yourself on material appropriation (a simple one that for most of us!).
Don’t define yourself on the vaugeries of love and romance (as nice as that feels).
Instead define yourself on how you respond to suffering that is inevitable in living. Don’t avoid it.
Huge suffering might be easy to avoid. Just as a large boulder would be easy to spot and skirt around, we might avoid terrible mistakes of drugs and affairs and being ill-read with relative ease.
Smaller suffering is actually more painful. Just as small pebbles trip us and invade our shoes with painful little stabs, so we cannot avoid the daily frustrations of lived existence.
I try to define myself on my rare moments of stoicism, those times when I define myself on my response to smaller suffering, those small moments of stubbed frustration.
Righteous anger often rules, alas. I lost my first draft.
Love, Retro, and American Exceptionalism
Sneak with a thousand bits of metal jangling in your pockets.
Eat irradiated cereal without developing tumors.
Crush all forms of government you disagree with.
Replace them with shacks and caravans of drifters.
Take drugs.
Fight zombies.
Drink like it’s 1999.
Party like it’s 1955.
And when the deathclaws catch up to you, nuke the ground at your feet.
{wanderlust}
{wandering from}
..place..to..place..
b a r e f e e t
-against-the-sidewalk-
^^^nothing more^^^
\than\a\
*dandelion*seed*
b l o w n a l o n g
~~~on~the~wind~~~
[with no control]
|over where|
/i/ /w/i/l/l/ /f/a/l/l/
(where i will)
"'"'"'"'plant my roots"'"'"'"'
a.n.d g.r.o.w
r e a c h i n g
*for the sky*
=to scrape against=
[the clouds]
(with lemon petals)
^but^never^truly^
///\\\getting there///\\\
{nothing more}
|than a weed|
:::to be plucked:::
/\/\/\out of the ground/\/\/\
~~and~discarded~~
|on the edge|
"'"'"'"'"'of the sidewalk"'"'"'"'"'
===that=same=sidewalk===
{that i had paced}
d a y s
m o n t h s
y e a r s
^earlier^
**hoping that**
~~~the~wind~~~
/\would take me/\
---where i needed---
...to go...
(but it didn't)
can i be homesick for a place i've never known?
wedding: tonight, we are one
momma always said i was going to go out in a bang.
little did she know how right she was.
the odor drifts through the air, ripping into my nostrils with its pungent tang.
i relish in it.
in my mind, i can already feel the flames licking up my body, consuming me.
i can't wait.
i don my wedding gown of kerosene, drenching every inch.
no one can see me.
i'm hidden in the shadows-
it's bad luck to see a bride on her wedding day.
my lover is death, and we seal our vows with a single match.
forget me nots
I know it's silly
You probably don't remember me
Or at least that what's your trying to say
Your face seems confused yet shocked underneath
You've gotten better at acting
but you still wear it like a loose mask
that easily falls off with a simple tug
You say you don't know me
but I know you do
You,
who forced yourself to forget me
must have finally discovered
that people can never be intentionally forgotten
If anything,
that only makes you remember them more